day 25 in 30 days of kink

day 25: how open are you about your kinks?

pretty open without advertising. Same as I am about most things. i’m open to discussion but I don’t go around wearing leather or a giant collar.Sir doesnt drag me around town on a leash etc. There’s no need for that.


i don’t tell my family, people that don’t ‘need’ or WANT to know. If they want to know, and I don’t think they’re going to use it against me somehow - I’ll share.

(example - I used to talk to girlfriends at my old job about my kinks and camming. They were fine and supportive… just curious. They didn’t intentionally MEAN me harm, but they were gossips. and it got back to my boss. who fired me. So i am careful not just about who i tell, but who they might tell and how that might effect me.)

blargh rambly late post sorry.

bed now.

day 24 in 30 days of kink.

day 24: what qualities do you look for in a partner?

Someone who pays attention to me. To what’s going on inside me. And to matching their dominant desires up with my submissive ones.

I seem to be attracted to older men. Big shoulders and arms are a plus.

Money.

Ever since Master collared me he doesn’t TIP ME ANY MORE!!!!! :(

He told me to show him my pussy the ohter  night and I said “teep bb?”

and he said he’d tip with his cock.

lolz.

Seriously. someone who is attentive to my needs. intelligent. And who enjoys the same things I do, kinky and.. non kinky.

I’m also blessed that Master can and enjoys cooking. Cos I sure as hell can’t.

Day 23 in 30 days of kink

day 23: since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? how so?

Well.. I stared learning about power exchange in relationships and sex by reading anime fanfiction about my favourite characters, in homosexual situations….

so.. yeah its changed.

Its moved from something that was about sex and being turned on, to something that is part of every single part of my life.

Day 22 in 30 days of kink

day 22: what do you think is important in keeping a bdsm relationship healthy? how does it differ from a vanilla relationship?


Often I see people use the power exchange in their relationships to justify why something that is unhealthy, is actually “ok”. Submissives write off abuse, or arrogant insensitive behavior as ‘Dominance’. Dominants write off their submissives self-abuse, or dependency issues as ‘submission’ and relationships that could be healthy and fun become fucked up and icky.

Communication is even more important anytime power is exchanged. Of course its important in vanilla relationships too.. but risk goes up when you exchange power, so care to communicate properly and truthfully has to go up to.

Day 21 in 30 days of kink

day 21: favorite bdsm related book (fiction or non-fiction)

I’m currently reading this non-fiction book which is lots of fun:

http://www.bookrags.com/studyguide-screw-the-roses/

But my favourite… favourite favourite book is Lolita.

It may be a stretch to say its BDSM but Daddy/little for sure and it opened my mind .. ok BLEW my mind when I first read it at 15. Along with the slight disgust at myself that I was sympathizing with a peadophile, I realized I had power at a time when I felt completely powerless in my life.

.

day 19 in 30 days of kink

day 19: any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? if so, what are they?

Well um, a viable steady income for one?

New friends?

Oh and a great cure for anxiety attacks…  a nice spanking session :P

day 18 in 30 days of kink

day 18: any kinky/bdsm pet peeves? if so, what are they?

P/people W/who T/talk L/like T/this.

S/slashy S/speak S/sucks.

Day 17 in 30 days of kink

day 17: what misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

That we were all abused as children and are somehow re-living the abuse.

Day 16 in 30 days of Kink

day 16: what are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or bdsm for you personally?

Currently its the blurring of the lines. Because kink is my job, and my job includes my sexuality - its one of the most empowering things i’ve ever done. But it also blurs lines between work and my regular sexuality sometimes. 

And of course, I live a double life. Most people are used to hiding their kink. I’m hiding my kink, the nature of my relationships, AND my job. It can be difficult sometimes but society is wired one way, and I’m wired another. 

Previously (before camming) i’ve had issues with having a partner who was not interested, living in a conservative small town in the south with no access to the kink community, and $$$. I know you can do BDSM on a budget, but things like my cage etc were just not doable on my budget back then. Now of course, you wonderful perverts help! 

Day 15 in 30 days of kink.

I’m going to try to knock the rest of these out the way they were intended. Ya’ll keep bugging me about them so I guess this means you’re enjoying the window into my crazy brain?

day 15: post a bdsm/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Wait I only get to pick one? 

Singletail. I’ve never experienced one. They freak me out a little. But that’s probably a good thing? 

day 14 in 30 days of Kink

Ok - tumblr apparently ate my post.

We’ll try again. 

How would you say real life bdsm/kink varies from fantasy bdsm/kink? if you haven’t experienced real life bdsm/kink how do you think it might differ?

The internet has been the best thing ever to happen to BDSM and the WORST thing. As a camgirl, I meet many many people who have never had a real life bdsm experience and have unrealistic expectations of what is possible. I think because fantasies, while fun, are so unfulfilled, its very easy to take them further and further and want more and more extreme things. This is fine, if you keep a firm grip on reality. But its easy to lose that when you’re online. And on cam you guys sometimes forget that I have to be physically capable of doing what you’re into. It might  just be a box on the screen for you, but somewhere in New Mexico a real girl has to actually phyiscally Do whatever the fuck it is you want. I value practicality in my clients :P

There are things that are ‘hot’ as an idea, but in real life  they differ substantially. A good example is faceslapping. Hot as hell in fantasy - it really doesn’t affect me psychologically. In reality, it is a really hot experience but it effects me very differently. 

This gap is ok - as long as you’re aware of it, ready for it and keep a firm grip on reality :) 


day 13 in 30 days of kink

day 13: explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/bdsm is to you? why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

Two very simple things.

Power exchange.

Masochism.

Pleasure and Pain get more intense when they are mixed for me, and I like things to be intense.

Having no control is a huge turn on. And I don’t just mean it makes me wet. 

Getting into a a D/s relationship was like putting on glasses for the first time. “OH WOW I CAN SEE”

It was like “oh wow, now my universe makes sense”

BDSM is one of the lenses through which I view my world. 


day 11 in 30 days of kink

day 11: what are your views on the ethics of kink?

seriously this is a question? This is like, a subject of a BOOK right here..

SSC = Safe, Sane and Consensual. 

If it fits into this, its ok in my book. 

Actually, that applies to life in general.

Other than that, RESPECT. Of course respect applies to everything in life, but sometimes it gets lost in the power play of Dominance and submission.  This applies to camming too. If you come into my room and you don’t respect me (tipping or not) then I don’t want to work with you. Just because I’m a camgirl, just because I’m submissive, just because I’m a woman and just because I’m not shaped like a barbie does not mean I’m not a human and I don’t deserve your respect. I will give you mine, till you give me a reason to take it away from you.

The other thing to remember with D/s is to RESPECT the vanilla world. While you shouldn’t have any reason to HIDE your true self from the world if you choose not to you should not force it onto the rest of the world non-consensually.

So for example - wearing a rope harness to warlmart under my dress = HOT.

Wearing a rope harness that technically covers all the parts that I could get arrested for, and wandering around the streets in front of children like that… mebe not the most ethical choice. 

That is why when I do my public shows on cam I am SUPER careful not to let anyone see. NOT JUST because I’m scared of getting caught, but also because they are not consenting to see me naked. The one time I flashed a guy on cam, I got his permission BEFORE i did it. It’s not that hard to be considerate of your neighbours… 

Ok back to the kinky fun now we got all serious there?


Day 8 in 30 days of kink

Ok so im a slacker. 

Day 8 - post a song or lyrics that remind you of kink:

This immediately makes me think kink. Theres many others i can think of - less..subtle.. but this was the first i thought of.

Day 4 & 5 in 30 days of Kink

day 4: any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

Lots. I didn’t realize why I liked it but I always enjoyed it when we played cops and robbers… peter pan… doctor/patient. i was always the victim/helpless one and it always made a little giddy. My older brother once wrapped me in glad wrap & tied me to a lampost in the street and left me there. He was such a little fuck. As I started getting older and experimenting I learned that making out was much hotter if the guy pinned you against the wall first….


day 5: what was your first kinky sexual experience? if you haven’t had one yet, talk about what you hope to have happen.

Most of my first kinky experiences happened online - cybersex etc. By the time I got to actually play with kink in my real sex life I already had a good idea of what I liked and what I wanted. I was in a long term committed relationship (the fella I moved to america for) and you know i really don’t remember the first ‘time’ because for me…sex always had a kink component. I think it was the sex we had out in the laundry room which was separate from the house. We were living with his parents, and we fucked on top of the deepfreeze. He held my hands down.

See and now I’m double guessing myself because for me that’s not even that kinky, its just SEX lol.