Lacey's Candy Shop

day 25: how open are you about your kinks?

pretty open without advertising. Same as I am about most things. i’m open to discussion but I don’t go around wearing leather or a giant collar.Sir doesnt drag me around town on a leash etc. There’s no need for that.

i don’t tell my family, people that don’t ‘need’ or WANT to know. If they want to know, and I don’t think they’re going to use it against me somehow - I’ll share.

(example - I used to talk to girlfriends at my old job about my kinks and camming. They were fine and supportive… just curious. They didn’t intentionally MEAN me harm, but they were gossips. and it got back to my boss. who fired me. So i am careful not just about who i tell, but who they might tell and how that might effect me.)

blargh rambly late post sorry.

bed now.

day 24: what qualities do you look for in a partner?

Someone who pays attention to me. To what’s going on inside me. And to matching their dominant desires up with my submissive ones.

I seem to be attracted to older men. Big shoulders and arms are a plus.

Money.

Ever since Master collared me he doesn’t TIP ME ANY MORE!!!!! :(

He told me to show him my pussy the ohter  night and I said “teep bb?”

and he said he’d tip with his cock.

lolz.

Seriously. someone who is attentive to my needs. intelligent. And who enjoys the same things I do, kinky and.. non kinky.

I’m also blessed that Master can and enjoys cooking. Cos I sure as hell can’t.

day 23: since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? how so?

Well.. I stared learning about power exchange in relationships and sex by reading anime fanfiction about my favourite characters, in homosexual situations….

so.. yeah its changed.

Its moved from something that was about sex and being turned on, to something that is part of every single part of my life.

day 22: what do you think is important in keeping a bdsm relationship healthy? how does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Often I see people use the power exchange in their relationships to justify why something that is unhealthy, is actually “ok”. Submissives write off abuse, or arrogant insensitive behavior as ‘Dominance’. Dominants write off their submissives self-abuse, or dependency issues as ‘submission’ and relationships that could be healthy and fun become fucked up and icky.

Communication is even more important anytime power is exchanged. Of course its important in vanilla relationships too.. but risk goes up when you exchange power, so care to communicate properly and truthfully has to go up to.

day 21: favorite bdsm related book (fiction or non-fiction)

I’m currently reading this non-fiction book which is lots of fun:

http://www.bookrags.com/studyguide-screw-the-roses/

But my favourite… favourite favourite book is Lolita.

It may be a stretch to say its BDSM but Daddy/little for sure and it opened my mind .. ok BLEW my mind when I first read it at 15. Along with the slight disgust at myself that I was sympathizing with a peadophile, I realized I had power at a time when I felt completely powerless in my life.

.

day 19: any unexpected ways kink has improved your life? if so, what are they?

Well um, a viable steady income for one?

New friends?

Oh and a great cure for anxiety attacks…  a nice spanking session :P

day 18: any kinky/bdsm pet peeves? if so, what are they?

P/people W/who T/talk L/like T/this.

S/slashy S/speak S/sucks.

day 17: what misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

That we were all abused as children and are somehow re-living the abuse.

day 16: what are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or bdsm for you personally?

Currently its the blurring of the lines. Because kink is my job, and my job includes my sexuality - its one of the most empowering things i’ve ever done. But it also blurs lines between work and my regular sexuality sometimes. 

And of course, I live a double life. Most people are used to hiding their kink. I’m hiding my kink, the nature of my relationships, AND my job. It can be difficult sometimes but society is wired one way, and I’m wired another. 

Previously (before camming) i’ve had issues with having a partner who was not interested, living in a conservative small town in the south with no access to the kink community, and $$$. I know you can do BDSM on a budget, but things like my cage etc were just not doable on my budget back then. Now of course, you wonderful perverts help! 

I’m going to try to knock the rest of these out the way they were intended. Ya’ll keep bugging me about them so I guess this means you’re enjoying the window into my crazy brain?

day 15: post a bdsm/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.

Wait I only get to pick one? 

Singletail. I’ve never experienced one. They freak me out a little. But that’s probably a good thing?